Conflict

Being at my sister's house last week, I missed attending the Bible study on Words That Hurt, Words That Heal. Since we began, we have been covering two chapters each week with a 2-week summer break for July vacations. The group started up again last Thursday evening discussing "conflict." Here are some of the notes I missed which were emailed to me this week:

"We worked through some ideas on handling conflict and decided conflict is not always bad. We used the husband/wife situation since we felt God uses our husbands--someone close to us--for our training and development."

• If you must disagree with your mate, vent in a safe atmosphere--go to God first.
• don't bring up the past
• define the issue--do you both understand WHAT the issue is
• avoid "always" and "never" type of comments
• really listen to the other person--don't just wait for your turn
• be clear on the facts
• don't attack the person or the personality, but the event/behavior
• use respect--this includes tone and facial expressions
• don't exaggerate
• timing is crucial--not late at night. "Yes, don't let the sun go down on your anger..." but if tired and grumpy it may not be the best time. Set a time in near future to discuss. Since you are not angry when you plan to discuss, putting off several hours won't matter.
• never discuss when angry
• make a time for discussion--study your mate; know when is he attentive
• prayerful attitude; ask Holy Spirit to lead
• extend grace to other
• be willing to forgive
• live with the reality; behavior may never change
• put the problem in perspective

It sounds like I missed a great discussion. This next week's study will be on "giving and receiving reproof," and I'll try to post my notes from that session on Friday.

"Let your forbearing spirit be known to all men." ~Philippians 4:5

~Deb

Comments

[Paula]

Hey, I saw the book was still in your sidebar and wondered if you were still doing your study. Looks like you're about halfway through?

[Deb]

Paula, we actually only have two chapters left after this week, and I'll miss both of those sessions. I have found if I read ahead, I can't remember each week what we're discussing. So I'm getting thru the book week by week, chapter by chapter; which with so much going on, it's been the best way for me to do it. :)