Giving & Receiving Reproof

Last night's Bible study lesson (the next to last before we're finished with the book Words That Hurt, Words That Heal) was another interesting session--slightly different because 10 of us ladies met at North River Grill in Bridgewater for a dinner meal as we discussed the chapter on giving and receiving reproof.

Our focus verse: "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel." Proverbs 12:15

We talked about accepting correction from someone we love and agreed that it is probably the most difficult thing to do. Consciously or unconsciously, we think, they must not like me, or how can they possibly love me the way I long to be loved?

How do we receive correction, and how do we give it? Ladies around the table gave various examples of receiving correction and being hurt initially but then realizing that it must have been awfully hard for the friend to approach them in the first place to share the observation. And also we know that "faithful are the wounds of a friend" Proverbs 27:6. We need to receive reproof with HOPE:

Humbly, with Open heart, Prayerfully, Enduring without retaliation.

We discussed that sometimes it's actually easier to receive correction than to give it. Folks with the gift of mercy (me) often try to avoid any kind of confrontation or conflict. We don't like to rock the boat, so we need a little extra oomph to help us confront and correct others when it's needed. Now, on the other hand, there are folks who have no trouble at all confronting others.

How should we handle it when someone comes to us and admonishes us about something? 1) don't bring up things we want to admonish them about 2) listen with our mouth shut 3) after listening, say: "thank you for sharing that with me. Let me pray about it and think it through."

How should we give reproof? Speak the truth in love. Four points: 1) admonish fellow believers 2) admonish "someone caught in a fault" 3) those who are spiritual are the ones to do the admonishing and 4) ask God for wisdom to restore the person gently. Colossians 3:16 says, "admonish one another." So it is something we need to do.

One lady commented that this whole study has made her so much more aware of what she's saying every time she opens her mouth! The last two chapters in the book will be covered next week (Gentleness and Sacrifice of Praise). And although we will be out of town, everyone told me I still had to read the assignment and finish the book. Maybe I'll get a chance to post on those chapters later in the month.

~Deb

Comments

[Paula]

Deb, Knowing you've studied the book too makes me feel even closer to you. I'm so glad you're enjoying it. This book has been a godsend to me and I go back to it occasionally as if it was a workbook. I guess it was! Thanks for sharing what you're learning.